We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world. There is
nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people
won’t feel insecure about you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to manifest
the glory of God that is within us.

It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give
other people permission to do the same. As we are
liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically
liberates others.

Marianne Williamson

Seeing what is happening to this place I think of as home leads me to wonder at the sustainability of the life I am building for myself.  Having this time to slow down and be quiet makes me more aware of just how busy and stressful life has felt in recent weeks.  Our family is going through a transition as I start a new job as the director of a shelter for women and children who are victims of domestic violence in Indianapolis.  This new job means I will be commuting and working daily 60 miles away from home until we are able to sell our house and move closer to my work.  That change to a daily commute is a significant one but for my kids, particularly my 9 year old son, the idea of moving is very anxiety provoking.  He’s been really anxious and worried about the upcoming changes.  It’s going to take very intentional decision making and boundary setting on my part over the next few months to ensure that our life during this transition is sustainable for all of us.  I’m going to have to be careful about how I use my time so that I have enough energy and time to help my kids (and myself) through this time of change.  I don’t want to look back a year from now and see something like I saw driving in here…change that has left scars on the landscape of our lives that will take years to heal.  I’d appreciate your prayers during this time of transition.

Over the past few months we have been making some efforts to eat more locally. Last summer we bought virtually all of our produce and eggs at the local farmer’s market. We continue to buy eggs, beef, pork and some dairy produced locally but winter in the midwest is not known for an abundance of produce. As I peruse the produce department at my local grocery store and see grapes grown in Chile, Clementines from Spain, bananas from Central America and all kinds of green veggies from California I realize how accustomed I have become to having anything I want at any time at a price I can afford. But I am coming to realize that this kind of global agricultural marketplace comes at a high price to both the environment and, in many cases, to the producers of our ‘affordable’ vegetables and fruits.

I realize that if something does not change, my children will have no concept of how our food is produced and how that food production is connected to the earth and the seasons.  As far as they are concerned, strawberries are endlessly available, asparagus has no particular season, tomatoes are a year round food and meat comes in shrink-wrapped plastic containers. When foods are available to us constantly, we lose any sense of the wonder and anticipation that comes from looking forward to a favorite seasonal treat or the appreciation for the cycle of life and our part in that.  Nothing is special because it’s always available with a minimal expenditure of effort.  When that over-familiarity occurs, we lose some sense of the wonder of God’s creation and our connection to our physical environment.

Over the next few months I’m going to be thinking and writing about what I am learning about trying to eat more locally as well as the hidden costs of the global agricultural marketplace. I’d be interested in hearing your reflections on these issues.  To find information about local farmers and food producers in your area, check out localharvest.org.

• It’s a lot harder to be without TV programming when the days are short and the weather is bad.
• Fasting from TV does not automatically mean that the time is filled with more enriching or productive activity .
• Children who don’t watch TV require much more attention and energy to parent.
• While waiting until later in life to have children has many advantages, boundless energy is not one of them.
• It is both uncomfortable and rewarding to move out of our comfort zones.
• It is possible to live a normal and fulfilled life without having access to 100+ channels of TV programming.
• I don’t miss hearing every little detail about the day’s horrific tragedy.
• I can still get plenty of news without watching TV. The only time I’ve really wanted to watch the TV news was when we had severe weather. We were able to pick up a local channel (though the reception was pretty bad).
• It’s a lot cheaper to get movies from the library than from Blockbuster.
• I’ve rediscovered how much I enjoy reading for pleasure.

I have to say that our fast is not a complete fast. We do watch movies and videos from the library or Netflix and I’ve even watched a few cooking shows I got at the library. What is significantly different, however, is that the TV is not available to be used 24/7 as a distraction. Anything we watch is an intentional choice (both as to the programming and the time.) I’ve certainly done more reading, writing and listening to music in the last six months and I’ve learned a lot about myself. Fasting is, in part, about exposing our dependencies and clarifying what is important. God has taught me some important lessons in the last six months and for that I am truly grateful.

Thanks be to God!

In this Sunday’s gospel Nicodemus asks Jesus, “How can anyone be born after having grown old? Can one enter a second time into the mother’s womb and be born?” Poor old Nicodemus! He was so confused about the whole “water and Spirit” business of baptism.

1. When and where were you baptized? Do you remember it? Know any interesting tidbits? I was Baptized at the First Baptist Church in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee, USA, when I was 12 years old.  I remember the experience mostly, I think, because growing up Southern Baptist, baptism was one of the two sacraments that we practiced so it was a really big deal.  I remember that our pastor, ‘Preacher Cope’ always used the same words: “You are buried with him in the likeness of his death and raised to walk in the newness of life.”  As kids, we would practice baptizing each other in the swimming pool, always using those words.  Perhaps that was the beginning of my sense of call. (Preacher Cope would be appalled.)
2. What’s the most unexpected thing you’ve ever witnessed at a baptism? While living in Thailand I attended a baptism at a river at which several new believers were being baptized.  In the midst of the baptism, someone came along with a herd of water buffalo who forded the river just downstream of where we were.  I was glad they were not upstream.
3. Does your congregation have any special traditions surrounding baptisms? It is always by immersion and the baptism occurs during Sunday morning worship.  In recent years, the family is invited to come up to the baptismal which is located behind the chancel, so that they can see more clearly and stand in solidarity with their family member.
4. Do you have a favorit baptismal song or hymn? I’m not sure that it is a baptismal song, per se, but “Oh The Deep, Deep Love of Jesus” always seems to remind me of the grace that is expressed in the sacrament of baptism.

1. Did you celebrate Mardi Gras and/or Ash Wednesday this week? How? Being Baptist, Lent and all that accompanies it has not been a part of my tradition. I had hoped to go to an Ash Wednesday service this year but my daughter was home with a bad Strept infection so I did not get out of the house that day except to take her to the Dr.

2. What was your most memorable Mardi Gras/Ash Wednesday/Lent? The first time I observed Ash Wednesday and Lent was as a seminary student when I was working as a youth pastor in a United Methodist Church. I remember thinking that my own tradition’s rejection of the of many of the events and observances of the Christian calendar was a loss of huge proportions. I found that the experience of observing Lent made the celebration of Holy Week and Easter more meaningful.

3. Did you/your church/your family celebrate Lent as a child? If not, when and how did you discover it? See above.

4. Are you more in the give-up camp, or the take-on camp, or somewhere in between? This year I have a foot in both camps. I am taking on the spiritual discipline of fasting one day per week which also involves giving up something. I see it more as a taking on of the challenge of using my hunger as a call to prayer and meditation than as a giving up of food.

5. How do you plan to keep Lent this year? See above

For a link to daily Lenten devotional readings from the faculty and students of Goshen College click here. For more resources including prayers, readings and links to audio files of a Lenten retreat provided by Creighton University click here.

I’ll close by sharing a “Prayer of Abandonment” written by Charles de Foucauld, a 19th century French aristocrat who joined the French army in Algeria, then left it to live there identifying with the people, serving the poor, learning the language, and sought to found a new religious order, which became The Little Brothers of Jesus. Jim Wallis shares this prayer on the God’s Politics Blog. I think it is an appropriate prayer for all of us during Lent.

Father, I abandon myself into your hands;
do with me what you will.
Whatever you may do, I thank you:
I am ready for all, I accept all.

Let only your will be done in me,
and in all your creatures -
I wish no more than this, O Lord.

Into your hands I commend my soul:
I offer it to you with all the love of my heart,
for I love you, Lord, and so need to give myself,
to surrender myself into your hands without reserve,
and with boundless confidence,
for you are my Father.

The grayness of the winter here in Indiana is difficult to deal with but is normally tolerable when there is more snow. Grayness and rain and a damp cold that clings to the skin is hard to take. I find myself wanting to hibernate, feeling less creative, etc. I’m sure the presence of grief and feeling of being unsettled about the future does not help matters any. So I am left with the question of how to tolerate this season in my life as I wait for the sky to brighten and signs of new life to emerge. It occurs to me that the season of Lent, which begins today, Ash Wednesday, offers some parallel to my experience.

During the season of Lent, followers of Christ are asked to make a commitment to a period of reflection and self-examination in preparation for the observance of Holy Week and Good Friday, culminating in the celebration of Jesus’ resurrection: Easter. Lent is not a happy-happy-joy-joy stop on the calendar of the Christian year but then not all of life is that way. There are periods of darkness…rain…sorrow in all our lives. Lent is a time for looking inward and allowing God to illuminate the parts of us that need attention. It’s also a time for looking outward to allow God to help us see the needs of a hurting world. Finally, Lent is a time for looking upward for it is during these these times of darkness, rain and sorrow in our lives that we can, if we pay attention, experience God’s presence, strength, comfort and guidance in deeper and more meaningful ways.

Tomorrow I will have to tell my nine year old son, Ben, who has been praying for him every night and worrying about him. He’s trying to understand why he can’t be healed – why the doctors can’t just fix his lungs. He’s trying, again, to comes to terms with our mortality; with the fact that life is a mixture of sorrow and joy and that when we allow ourselves to love another person we open ourself to the possibility of loss. I wish I could protect him and myself from the grief that life brings but I know that protection of that sort comes with a high price. If we can’t allow sadness in our lives we sacrifice opportunities for joy.

So, instead of protecting him from the sadness, I’m going to allow him, and myself, to grieve. In the process, I’m sure there will come a point at which the tears give way to laughter as we remember the good times, the laughter, the joy. We’ll give thanks together for the blessing of such a friend. I would appreciate your prayers.